some perspective

ok - after a day or two and some contemplation, introspection and perspective I've decided that it was snotty of me to be angry at the guys who I talked about in my last post. They weren't into me - simple as that - I can't fault them for it because there have been quite a few guys who have shown interest in me and I was not interested back.

What I DO fault them for, however, is letting me be lead on and their way of ending it. Showing interest at first and then after a few weeks just ceasing to communicate is really rude. At least when I'm not into a guy who I know likes me, I let him know it. I don't let him think that there's potential when I know there's not. It's always hard when feelings are involved, but if any of these guys had just said "I know we've been 'hanging out' a lot lately, but I'd just like to be friends" I would have been totally cool with it.

thoughts

I haven't posted a new blog in forever... either here or on my family friendly blog. Not that I didn't have lots of ideas between now and the last one I posted... just never made the time to sit down and write, so then I forgot what I was going to write about. Plus the fact that I feel like there's nobody out there reading this. At least on MySpace you can see how many views your blog has gotten, so you know if people are reading or not. Here, there is only the comments section to go by, so when there are no comments I just assume no one cares...


Anyway, I'm feeling a lot like no one cares about me again recently. I just got the brush off YET again for about the jillionth time. I was telling my friend Trent about it and in that conversation I created a term for these guys: "Monther." That's not "mother," but "month'er" because that's about the longest any of them actually last - a month. Then they're done with me and move on. Move on to what, I don't know... just something else, I guess. They're always out there hoping to find something better. I guess all I can do is wish them luck with that... since I know how much luck I've had with trying to date guys... a big fat ZERO!


I really, truly believe that I will never find anyone, and will be single for my whole life. I don't WANT that to be true, but I've fully accepted that as the cold hard reality of being a gay man.